Colombia review

Alright, so I spent the majority of 2021 in Colombia, it was a year of serious chill. I will tell you about picking up Colombian women. 

I thought this was the perfect moment to write a review. While I am buried in snow at home, licking my wounds and scheming to take over the world.

Colbumbia

Yes, it is true. There are no small butts in Colombia. In my seven months there, I encountered maybe three girls with small asses. Colombia is a mixing pot of blessed genetics. The girls are stunning and worth the long flight.

Sadly the girls often choose to sacrifice their slim waist for a big ass and excessive body fat. Yuck! All of the Colombian wings I met liked curvy señoritas, so I don’t blame the chicks – google “nalgona” to find the ideal Colombian body. For example, I went out with a chick who used to be slim and nice when she arrived from Venezuela, simply because there was not a lot of food there. Then she got obsessed with growing her ass and eating and became a fat six. The gyms are filled up deep with squirting squatting Latinas. However, there was enough diversity to find what I was looking for.

Suspicious chicks

In the land with little money and a lot of beauty, girls will use their natural weapons to come up in the world. Every horny American (and to a lesser extent the European) knows about Medellin. Add the two together, and you get an environment that attracts girls with ulterior agendas. I had few encounters with girls on that end of the spectrum. Some obvious gold diggers, some simply looking for a nice fully-paid chit-chat with a foreigner, and everything in-between.

I present you a list of clues that will tell you that you’re dealing with a specifically-inclined Latina. Most will be obvious. Obvious is an easy word when you haven’t shot your load in a week and salivate over that hot booty on her Whatsapp picture.

• She wants to invite her friends
• She asks you to pay for her taxi (to bring her to the date venue):
  • I was curious, so I did this with six chicks. Out of the six, I managed to bang one (the body was sweltering though, OMFG). Then I invited her to come over the second time, and she demanded airplane tickets to a seaside resort.
  • One of these chicks spent a night with me. I hoped that in the morning she would be more open to sexy time. What a terrible assumption! In the morning I refused to pay for her ride back, so she turned into a shouting psycho. Scary stuff.
  • Some of my wings had success with paying for a taxi to bring the girl straight to their house, first date and all. Interesting… but not my style. I enjoy the multi-venue courtship
• She is not interested in getting to know you. Well, girls like to talk about themselves, but there is a difference between that and a lack of interest. She is more interested in the “experience”, how acceptably cool the surroundings are, and not you.
• She intuitively orders the most expensive drink on the menu.
• She insists on going to a restaurant.
• She agrees with some physicality, like holding hands, hugs, touching the neck. But passionate kissing and anything more is off the cards. 
• She seems fake – we all have had few of those. 
• Overt sexuality before the date, like calling you bebé over messages or sending sexual photos.
• A transactionally materialistic view of the world, like talking about shopping.
• Any other weird behaviour that one cannot necessarily describe but can sense from experience.
• Lastly, she might describe how her siblings also have sugar daddies – I met one with a gay brother…

Okay. So you can still bang a gold digger, as per my story above. But she needs to like you a lot. Then her emotional side might take care of the rest.

I paid for everything on all dates, regardless of the girl. That’s a small impact on my wallet, because everything was dirt cheap. My Colombian comrades did use tricks to make the girls pay. I giggled and remembered of the “Russian PUAs”, whose main success metric is the rouble-to-lay ratio, i.e. the lower the money spent on the date, the more legendary is the PUA. Well… I am like that in London haha.

40% of people in Colombia live in poverty. The thing is, you might have a purely emotional connection with a poor chick (there are plenty in the “ghettos”), but there will always remain an undercurrent of money. Simply because of the staggering wealth inequality between you two.

Flaking

“Latinas flake”, would say everyone who has visited South America. Let’s have a look at this.

The typical Colombiana would agree on a date enthusiastically, only to not show up or have the silliest last-minute excuse for not attending. And by silly, I mean bonkers, which makes you question her intelligence and your sanity. For example, she might complain that it is raining although there is no rain. Or she might say she got lost or fell asleep. LOL.

Upon further examination, it is not really flaking. The locals simply consider it polite to accept your date request and say yes, without it meaning yes. It is generally a cultural phenomenon here, it’s the same thing with guys and business dealings. So basically you did not do your job right in the approach and then thought for a minute that Latinas are easy. They are, but because of one’s Westerner status and game skill. And first you will have to get used to some mind-numbing bullshit.

The reason for these shenanigans might be a lack of trust within the society (people not respecting agreements), but it is my European superiority complex speaking here. On that note, if you want to observe that complex fully, read a hilarious Colombia review by a former PUA here: http://www.bodipua.com/colombia.

One might translate the stupid behavious as “playing games”, and there is some truth to this. There is a lot of incentive to do so, see the gold-digger narrative above. As with most things, the truth lies in the grey zone in the middle.

Also, I believe there is a positive relationship between how feminine and emotional a girl is, and how likely she is to change her mind, flake, be chaotic and frustrate you. If this is the price to pay for sweet Colombian arepas, I am fine with that.

Sooo, how’s the game?

During my stay in Colombia I had sex with 17 girls, one third from online game and other mostly from daygame. I felt too old for the 24/7 gaming marathon. My wings did better.

Do not come to Colombia to be a daygame purist: “Tinder is not game, daygame is the real form of game” [say it in a troll voice]. Me, a tall exotic white man with good photos in Colombia has the same Tinder value as a small-scale celebrity DJ or a fitness model in London.

Below are brief thoughts on the technicalities of game in Colombia. I hate technicalities and theory.

• Shit tests. I barely got any, I am jealous. Maybe I don’t notice them anymore. Maybe Colombianas don’t use them much. Maybe I am Ben Affleck. Too many maybes.
• Colombianas are really sweet, that’s what I will miss the most. It’s that syrupy, feminine energy. Hard to shake off. None of the standoffish attitude I would so often encounter in London.
• It is easy to have a booming vibe when it’s 20-plus weather all day, all year. I did not miss London, running down Covent Garden, opening cold orcs.
• Sex on the first date is normal. Two thirds of the dates went like that.
• I found it easy to bring chicks to my house.
• Some of the girls I met were just dumb. It doesn’t mean they were bad fucks or not fun to be around. It does make for an easier lay bahah. After all, I had been trained in the snobbish London – the pinnacle of Western intelligence.
• Medellin kinda sucks for daygame. The daygame areas are far from each other, you gotta get the taxi and face the traffic. I dislike traffic and men’s obsession with cars. The best daygame is in the malls. It can become dull.
• I did not change anything in my approach, nor the date model.
• Are Latin girls more horny than London girls? The Latin culture is more sexual on the surface – the openness and the twerking with the hot reggaeton. But at the end of the day, every girl’s horny, no matter where they are from.
• Colombian guys have a bad reputation amongst the Colombianas, because they see them as players. Many girls I met were single mothers, or grew up without a father figure (left, divorced or dead), that’s the reality. Whilst it does not do any good for society there, I certainly had fun playing with the daddy issue dynamic. And discussing the differences in dating between local and foreign guys as a segue to saucy topics.

I did end up with a couple of mini-relationships and explored cool mountain towns together. Good times.

Life is different in a constant abundance. I no longer felt the obsessive need to game. I did not keep around chicks I did not like, no matter if I had slept with them or not. For me, this was a rare occurrence in London.

Sex, drugs & danger

I heard a fair share of horror stories from friends and on Facebook forums. Nothing bad happened to me, because I used common sense. Do not walk alone on dark empty streets. Do not use drugs stupidly. Problem sorted.

Oh, and I recommend hiding your electronics under your bed if you have a date with a hood girl. You never know.

Where to go in Colombia?

The well-travelled game vets I talked to agreed unanimously: Medellin is overrated for game. The chicks are spoiled by the attention of foreigners. Saying that, I spent the majority of my time there. Please be smarter than me and go to other cities. 

Which city? I will not tell you where the Inca gold is buried. Go and find it for yourself.

Travelling for travelling’s sake

The world’s most interesting man, travelling across the continents, enthralling local talent and livin large! Yeah, for a minute I felt like that. Here’s a quick a map of how to do it right:

• Travel with a buddy. Or a girlie. You don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night, in a city god-knows-where, with nobody to talk to, all for the purpose of bedding that mythical Colombian nine (which I did). Then you remember how much you miss your social circle and run back to Medellin with tail between your legs.
• Have a purpose, other than travelling and chasing skirt. Like, learning Spanish, dedicated gym, and levelling up on business skills.
• Learn the local language. It will open the gates of Narnia for you
• As always, it’s cool to kick it with new wings and gain their unique insights

The purpose of life

This part of the world is fascinating. Because of the Amazon and the plants that grow there. Indians use these plants to make a medicinal cocktail that takes you on a psychedelic trip. The drink is called Ayahuasca, and it took me on a loooong ride. Not the kind of trip that makes you giggle and is fun at parties. Rather, an educational one that makes you cry of horror and joy.

Here are the game lessons given to me by the jungle spirits. Beware, this part is esoteric:

• If your life is a RPG video game, then Ayahuasca maxes out your empathy ability. It was like drinking a big mana potion. Because you realise that we are all the same, it is so simple. We are all animals and will return to ashes rather soon. Empathy is a big part of game – the ability to put yourself in the girl’s shoes and recognise her emotions.
• The purpose of life is to fuck and replicate – it takes two to create one. So we, the PUAs, are very close to the source. Let’s pat ourselves on the back. I will definitely have kids one day.
• Roots matter. I mean, your home land, the soil, the ashes and ashes of your predecessors. Don’t be an uprooted tree. No surprises here, I saw my future with an Eastern European chick.

There is more, but I will save you the weirdness. This is a topic for a long night at the pub.

The highlight reel

Here are other miscellaneous stories:

• Colombia is cheap and full of sexy chicks – the perfect ground for a growing webcam industry. Indeed, I spent good times with a cam model, and dating some more. Fucking great sex that still makes me stop my work whenever I think about it…
• Tip: Never cancel a date at the last minute, only to bring a hotter girl to the same venue at the same time. Because you might meet the first girl there and make for some hilarious moments
• After sleeping with a wild Filipino girl, she offered me a threesome. Sadly, a MFM threesome. I see what is happening here… so a thresome is still on my bucket list (the right kind).
• I’m keeping in touch with some of my Latina chicks. I normally don’t do this, but it’s ace for maintaining my Spanish